1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
