i think i have two assholes
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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