But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
