Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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