i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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