you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
