He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize