Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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