Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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