thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
