I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
