help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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