Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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