just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
