just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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