i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
