I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
