i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
