I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
