I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
