It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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