hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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