He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
