I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
