Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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