New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
