so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
