You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
