I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
