I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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