Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
