Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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