Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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