About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
