I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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