Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
