i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
