sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
