so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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