So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
