I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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