I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
When are your genitals available?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
