babies were throwing up all over the place
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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