i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
