i think i have two assholes
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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