why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
