I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
