You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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