mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
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