"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
