If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
