I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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