The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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