We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
