I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
