I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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