she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
