its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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