And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
