suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
